In the vast tapestry of human existence, one common question lingers like a shadow over our lives: What are we meant to do? The enigma of purpose often shrouds our journey, leaving many adrift in the vast sea of uncertainty. If you find yourself among those who yearn for clarity amidst life’s muddled paths, then read on, for in this article, we aim to dispel the fog of doubt and provide you with a strategy to unearth your purpose and find direction.
I was wrong…
Vast majority of humans dont know what they are “supposed” to do in life. Most of the people don’t know why they are here and what is their purpose. If you are one of them, read on, because I am going to clarify those for you and provide you with a strategy that will allow you to get clarity and direction.
Couple years ago I was lost. The life I have created for myself turned out to not be the life I wanted. It was the life that was expected of me. I did not know what to do.
I did what every intelligent and analytical person would do in my situation: Quit my job in a great startup that had promising future in front of itself and bought 1-way-ticket to Asia to figure out my purpose.
Back then, I was thinking, that the Purpose is the very one thing that I am supposed to be doing here as a human.
I started reading, I started hanging out with myself, I started meditating, I started creating morning routine. I wanted to know Why am I here? Who am I? What am I supposed to be doing in life? What is my purpose?
As a result, 6 months in Asia went by, and even though, I have turned my life around, I had even less idea about myself than before the travel. I was more perplexed. I was more confused. On top of that, when I came back to Berlin, most of friends and acquittances I have left there 6 months before I could not connect with anymore. “What is going on?”, “What am I supposed to do now?”.
The very one purposed I was supposed to magically discover over the course of 6 months solo backpacking in Asia turned out to be a failed plan…
Today looking back at it, with the perspective I have gained over the year, I couldn’t have been more far from the truth. That year was quintessential to me. I just did not have neither knownledge, nor enough experience to be able to make sense of it all, back then. And the approach I have taken towards thinking about the purpose was simply wrong.
Here is why:
There is not one purpose for us. There are ways that we can fulfill the purpose. Purpose is the service to the others by doing a thing, that we (ideally) enjoy doing, and It does not feel like work. Its something that is on the intersection of what we are interested in, what we enjoy doing, what you good at (or where you feel like putting the work),what we would do for free, and what is a value to the others.
The feeling that communicates serving your purpose to the others is called Fulfillment.
And it can be a list of things. Aiming for the very one thing, can be stressful and make you freeze up.
Knowing that there the list of possible purposes for you can be few pages long, is comforting (I found).
The Japanese have a name for it- it’s called Ikigai.
We don’t know what we truly want in life until we try it and see how it makes us feel. That’s it. As long as we test the hunches and ideas we have, we don’t know. And expecting that they will make us feel a certain way is surefire formula for disappointment. Accept that you don’t know, make a list of things you want to test out, try them out (more than once, because the first times in almost all cases suck).
It takes a while to figure yourself out, and the road to do so, is often painful. Also, there is not angel music and special light appearing when you actually arrive to that place (as it often does happen in the movies- I really believed that :))
Knowing what you don’t want is as important (sometimes even more so) as what you do want.
Avoiding the things, places, people, activities, environments that drain your energy and deplete you from your life force is a game changer. And the awareness of being able to recognize that comes from experience.
Your purposes
Now, how can you figure out your purposes and start making progress toward them?
Option 1
List the things that you enjoy doing, that excite you, that make you come alive. Do it now. Put some nice music and list as many as you can.
Once you have the list (And it should have at least 10 activities), ask yourself: “How these can add value to the others?” And write it down.
Once you have that on paper, look for the environment aka places where you can start doing it. Give yourself few weeks time, or at least do each and every few times. And put attention on how does that activity make you feel before (when you think about it), during and after. What feeling is it? How does it feel? Do you enjoy it? If so, keep doing that, if not, move on to the next.
Option 2
If you still lack clarity on the things you enjoy doing and have a hard time coming up with anything, try this one out.
Every evening before you fall asleep, make it a practice to ask yourself a question?
“What is the vision for me?”
Keep asking it as a last thing before you doze off to sleep. Make it a practice. Don’t try to answer. Your job is to ask the question. Thats it.
When you wake up, there might be some idea in your head. Write it down. Don’t expect, that it will happen the very next morning. It can take couple of days, or weeks even. The thing I can assure you, is that if you keep asking, you will get an answer.
Why is that:
Shortly before you fully full asleep (the moment when you are drowsy, but can communicate), is the time, when your brainwaves slow down to theta. Theta brainwave, is a subconcsious brainwave, that you don’t have normally access to during your waking hours. But in this very moment you do. If you ask a question, you pass by the logical mind, that is switched on when you are awake. The question goes straight into your subconscious. It will rumble around your mind for the most time of sleeping, when you are unconscious. Once you wake up, see what happens.
Why Theta brainwave is so important and powerful
I believe that we humans when we come into this world as kids, give clear signals what are gifts, talents and interests are. The parents just need to properly observe that. When we are 1,5-6 years of age, we receive the biggest programming of beliefs, that will influence the way we experience the world as adults. Those beliefs can be limiting. Those beliefs can be uplifting. This all depends on the environment where you grew up, and what you were told as a kid. This beliefs become subconscious. And whatever is stored in the subconscious- its accepted, and its being created in the external in a form of experiences, circumstances, people etc, so that you can prove yourself right.
If you are programmed by your parents, that you are fast learner you will always prove yourself and others right.
If you are programmed by your parents, that you are unfriendly you will always prove yourself and others that you are.
UNTIL
You realize that this is a program that has been installed onto you. And as it is with the programs, we can re-install them.
You already came to this world with clarity on your direction, you just been programmed and forgotten, but its still in you!
Using the strategy mentioned above can help you get you back on track. Remember- important is, not to try to answer the question yourself. You job is to ask a question in the right time, consistently. Thats it. Once the answer arrive- you will know. How?
It’s a feeling. And the thing with the feelings, there is no doubt about them.
Allow yourself some time & space
As you reflect upon these insights, remember that the journey to discovering your purpose is not a linear path but a dynamic exploration of the self. It is a journey filled with twists, turns, and unexpected revelations. Embrace the uncertainty, for within it lies the potential for growth and transformation. The pursuit of purpose is a lifelong endeavor, one that may require patience, resilience, and the courage to venture into the unknown.
In the grand mosaic of existence, your purpose is a unique and ever-evolving masterpiece waiting to be uncovered. It may not be a single stroke of destiny but a symphony of passions, talents, and experiences that contribute to your sense of fulfillment. So, whether you choose to list your passions, engage in the nightly ritual of asking for a vision, or embark on a different path altogether, remember this: You are on a profound quest to unveil your own ikigai, to unlock the secrets of your heart, and to paint the canvas of your life with the vibrant colors of purpose. Embrace the journey, for in the pursuit of self-discovery, you are not just finding answers; you are discovering the extraordinary, boundless depths of your own existence. You are awesome!
Jay Bialecki – You are awesome!